It's time to write a blog with the title of my journal!
Yesterday night, one of my T-mates left for onsite.
This weekend, one of my lunch-cum-T-mate will leave for onsite.
This made me count the number of people with whom I have shared or am sharing the project/trainee batch (=160, but not with all, I maintained relationship)/cubicle/tea-coffee/lunch/room(s) in all these 3 years in my professional life and it turned out to be greater than 100.
Most of them either left the country (temporary/permanent) / Hyderabad / Organization.
What if I count the hundreds of people I met during school/college/relatives/friends’ friends (I can’t recollect some of their faces also)
But with how many of them, have I been really in touch with? May be 10%.
Once, in a while, I do my bit to bring up that nostalgic feeling among any of those project/cubicle batches by starting a chain mail - generally forwarding one of those stupid chain mails we exchanged or a stupid forward or a simple "Hi!" mail.
The response - either a flurry of five or six mails in 1 or 2 days and the end of chain or there won’t be any replies at all:-( Of course, I have to accept the truth that I was, and will be on the other side a few times.
Life is like a Train Journey. People get into and out from the compartment. We may try to build a relationship with our co-passengers – most of the times, the relationship ends at the destination station – either ours or theirs! But, sometimes the relationship continues – who knows – we can meet again!
One generic reason for this – “No Time!” But, why don’t we have time to just click a “Send” on one of those mails (Of course, you can just type a “Hi” in addition to the default signature of “Regards, xxx”.
But, sometimes there would be some genuine reasons – and quite commonly, only in these cases, we take the non-responsiveness of the other person seriously and not surprisingly ends up in the break.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Friday, April 13, 2007
The plight of NRI parents
1. Last week, a middle-aged woman (as usual, I read this in THE HINDU) was killed at her home in my native place, Guntur. She was working in a post of Gazetted rank in the State Govt. Her husband was a small worker in the State Govt, when he died 20 years back. She got the job, struggled and became a gazetted officer. At the same time, she brought up her three sons, two were Engineer and Doctor settled in U.S. and the third was an SE in Bangalore. She had been living alone for the last 1 year in the remote city in A.P. before she was killed (Sources say, she was killed by her relatives for the wealth and they were jealous of her growth).
2. After the above incident, many NRI parents (my native place, along with the Godavari districts is home for almost 70-80% of the Telugu NRIs) broke out in TV channels and newspapers – how anxious they were to see their loved ones? How their children treat them as servants – “My son, settled in US, took me there for 6 months to help when his wife was pregnant. Once he got a kid, he sent me back. They couldn’t get a servant for cheaper wages and she won’t be as caring as me. He didn’t take his father as he couldn’t do anything and it was expensive to maintain two. Same was the case with my daughter in UK. Now no one turns up. They even reduced the telephone calls!”
3. A friend lost his dad when he was in Engineering. His father was a businessman. His mom took the challenge, successfully overcame difficulties posed by her husband’s business rivals and financiers. This guy wrote GRE and went to US to do MS. His intentions are clear – to get a job in US, marry someone and settle there. His mother has been living alone in his native place!
Why do I mention these here?
I thought about the first woman. She should have been young when her husband was killed and she would have sacrificed everything in her life to bring her sons succeed in their lives. Now they deserted (I might sound harsh) her.
I believe in the ideology – “To get something, we have to leave or forget some other thing!”
I know about some common views like this –
• Every person has a career. To advance in one’s life, to reach one’s goals and aspirations, one has to sacrifice some things in the life.
• Every creature feeds its small ones only till some years. No young one hangs to its parents, once it becomes independent to earn its own food.
• Money, Career, Success in Life, Love – all these things are important to one’s life. But are they important than the parents –
- They are the ones who bring us into this world.
- They are the ones who teach us initially on how to get used to this world
- They are the ones whom we look at, when we are in troubles.
In this fast growing IT world that combines East & West using latest technologies like Internet, Web Cams, Net Phone, Chatting – one can keep in touch with the dear ones even though they are thousands/millions of miles away. But are they really happy?
A popular dialogue from a Telugu movie, Nuvvu naku nacchav –
(Hero is in AirForce (unemployed, roaming, … - Avara - most of you would have done this job)
Heroine: Your dad wants you to study well and settle in US. Why do you break his heart, by jollying like this.
Hero: You don’t know. My dad was very young when my mom had died. Though many had advised, he didn’t marry – just for my sake. He faced all kinds of troubles – he cooked, bathed me, blah.. blah. How can I leave him alone? Now, it’s my turn.
Ok. I will study and go to US, leaving him here. What will I do then?
• Suppose my dad is ill – from there – I can just call him and tell to consult a doctor and take some medicines. But, here I can take him to the doctor myself and can give tablets with my hands.
• There – I can roam in a car – but, here – I can roam my dad on the scooter all over the town.
• People like you, brought up in cities can’t understand our feelings.
(As told in my previous blogs, my memory is poor – I don’t remember movies that much – dialogues might not have been produced as they were)
2. After the above incident, many NRI parents (my native place, along with the Godavari districts is home for almost 70-80% of the Telugu NRIs) broke out in TV channels and newspapers – how anxious they were to see their loved ones? How their children treat them as servants – “My son, settled in US, took me there for 6 months to help when his wife was pregnant. Once he got a kid, he sent me back. They couldn’t get a servant for cheaper wages and she won’t be as caring as me. He didn’t take his father as he couldn’t do anything and it was expensive to maintain two. Same was the case with my daughter in UK. Now no one turns up. They even reduced the telephone calls!”
3. A friend lost his dad when he was in Engineering. His father was a businessman. His mom took the challenge, successfully overcame difficulties posed by her husband’s business rivals and financiers. This guy wrote GRE and went to US to do MS. His intentions are clear – to get a job in US, marry someone and settle there. His mother has been living alone in his native place!
Why do I mention these here?
I thought about the first woman. She should have been young when her husband was killed and she would have sacrificed everything in her life to bring her sons succeed in their lives. Now they deserted (I might sound harsh) her.
I believe in the ideology – “To get something, we have to leave or forget some other thing!”
I know about some common views like this –
• Every person has a career. To advance in one’s life, to reach one’s goals and aspirations, one has to sacrifice some things in the life.
• Every creature feeds its small ones only till some years. No young one hangs to its parents, once it becomes independent to earn its own food.
• Money, Career, Success in Life, Love – all these things are important to one’s life. But are they important than the parents –
- They are the ones who bring us into this world.
- They are the ones who teach us initially on how to get used to this world
- They are the ones whom we look at, when we are in troubles.
In this fast growing IT world that combines East & West using latest technologies like Internet, Web Cams, Net Phone, Chatting – one can keep in touch with the dear ones even though they are thousands/millions of miles away. But are they really happy?
A popular dialogue from a Telugu movie, Nuvvu naku nacchav –
(Hero is in AirForce (unemployed, roaming, … - Avara - most of you would have done this job)
Heroine: Your dad wants you to study well and settle in US. Why do you break his heart, by jollying like this.
Hero: You don’t know. My dad was very young when my mom had died. Though many had advised, he didn’t marry – just for my sake. He faced all kinds of troubles – he cooked, bathed me, blah.. blah. How can I leave him alone? Now, it’s my turn.
Ok. I will study and go to US, leaving him here. What will I do then?
• Suppose my dad is ill – from there – I can just call him and tell to consult a doctor and take some medicines. But, here I can take him to the doctor myself and can give tablets with my hands.
• There – I can roam in a car – but, here – I can roam my dad on the scooter all over the town.
• People like you, brought up in cities can’t understand our feelings.
(As told in my previous blogs, my memory is poor – I don’t remember movies that much – dialogues might not have been produced as they were)
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Oh Software Engineer, are you dissatisifed with your job?
The count of SEs getting frustrated with their jobs has been increasing considerably. I was one of those victims (not now). But I can see many s/w junkies who still carry the same feeling – even some of the blogs reflect the same.Someone feels that he should have become a great chef, but he was wasting his time here.Someone wants to go in a time machine to change the things.Someone wants to go to hills.What else?But why is this high rate of job dissatisfaction?
What are the possible reasons –
• Staying 100s and 1000s of miles away from family and friends (We build relationships with roomies and colleagues – but many of them can’t match up with school/college buddies and cousins).
• Working late nights (Midnight on average and 1-4AM occasionally)• Unconventional deadlines and work pressure.
• Need to work with people from different cultures and having different behavior, attitude and habits (Resulting in conflicts and misunderstandings).
• No physical activity.
• Being on bench or not doing any productive work (These people believe they have skills which are being under- /never utilized).
• No time for other special skills they possess (Someone likes cooking, someone likes writing poems and stories).
So, what do these people do, in general –
1. Crib, crib and crib – No result.
2. Then, some of them take the courage and determination to get out of the world – People stamp him a rebel.
3. Some try to take it for granted – They can never reach their goals and they can never enjoy what they do
4. Some try to seek solace in other alternatives – Blogging, photography, gossiping, chatting with friends (most of the times, these friends are their training batchmates with whom they spent their first 2 or 3 months of professional lives).
What did I do –
1. Cribbed for almost 1 year. I was ready to continue, but my friends were not ready to take any more.
2. Tried to impose a change by doing non-cooperation, revolutions, what else. I was calmed, promised many things, I went for the bait and the rest didn’t make any story.
3. Tried to take it for granted and live like hundreds of others – I have a 8-6 job, some thousands get credited into my account on every month, go and enjoy TV at room, weekend multiplex movies, occasional home trips, regular mobile and online chats. But I was not able to cope with this life for more than a month.
4. Then I started blogging – used it to the max extent to crib, vent my frustration, overcome my boredom and what else.But this had not taken me anywhere.
I realized that the problem was not with my work life, but with my attitude.
I changed my perspective of SE job.
1. Whenever I felt, I was slogging here on Friday night at 8PM, when there was a cricket match going on live which I was missing badly –
a. There were 3 kids cleaning the tables in the roadside hotel where I would get my dinner pack hurriedly at 10PM in the night to catch up the second innings.
b. There were these bus drivers who drove the whole night – almost 365 days a year – even on Dec 31st and the day before festivals – while I was hurrying to my native/place like Goa to enjoy the vacation and occasion.
2. Whenever I felt, I am not paid as much as I deserve – It took my father 30 years of banking life to get to a salary of 20K per month – which I reached in 1 year.
3. Whenever I felt, there was not satisfaction in my job and my skills were not or under utilized – I remember hundreds of Ranji cricketers who deserve a place in the national team, but were denied because of politics and biased selections.
What are the possible reasons –
• Staying 100s and 1000s of miles away from family and friends (We build relationships with roomies and colleagues – but many of them can’t match up with school/college buddies and cousins).
• Working late nights (Midnight on average and 1-4AM occasionally)• Unconventional deadlines and work pressure.
• Need to work with people from different cultures and having different behavior, attitude and habits (Resulting in conflicts and misunderstandings).
• No physical activity.
• Being on bench or not doing any productive work (These people believe they have skills which are being under- /never utilized).
• No time for other special skills they possess (Someone likes cooking, someone likes writing poems and stories).
So, what do these people do, in general –
1. Crib, crib and crib – No result.
2. Then, some of them take the courage and determination to get out of the world – People stamp him a rebel.
3. Some try to take it for granted – They can never reach their goals and they can never enjoy what they do
4. Some try to seek solace in other alternatives – Blogging, photography, gossiping, chatting with friends (most of the times, these friends are their training batchmates with whom they spent their first 2 or 3 months of professional lives).
What did I do –
1. Cribbed for almost 1 year. I was ready to continue, but my friends were not ready to take any more.
2. Tried to impose a change by doing non-cooperation, revolutions, what else. I was calmed, promised many things, I went for the bait and the rest didn’t make any story.
3. Tried to take it for granted and live like hundreds of others – I have a 8-6 job, some thousands get credited into my account on every month, go and enjoy TV at room, weekend multiplex movies, occasional home trips, regular mobile and online chats. But I was not able to cope with this life for more than a month.
4. Then I started blogging – used it to the max extent to crib, vent my frustration, overcome my boredom and what else.But this had not taken me anywhere.
I realized that the problem was not with my work life, but with my attitude.
I changed my perspective of SE job.
1. Whenever I felt, I was slogging here on Friday night at 8PM, when there was a cricket match going on live which I was missing badly –
a. There were 3 kids cleaning the tables in the roadside hotel where I would get my dinner pack hurriedly at 10PM in the night to catch up the second innings.
b. There were these bus drivers who drove the whole night – almost 365 days a year – even on Dec 31st and the day before festivals – while I was hurrying to my native/place like Goa to enjoy the vacation and occasion.
2. Whenever I felt, I am not paid as much as I deserve – It took my father 30 years of banking life to get to a salary of 20K per month – which I reached in 1 year.
3. Whenever I felt, there was not satisfaction in my job and my skills were not or under utilized – I remember hundreds of Ranji cricketers who deserve a place in the national team, but were denied because of politics and biased selections.
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