Millennium Transformation

Mobile phones, internet, email, LCD TVs, iPods, shopping malls, ATM – Things that generally come to one’s mind if asked about the changes in lifestyle or the development India has made in 21st century or the new millennium. “That’s it!” is what I have been thinking for the last few days. “No, it is not!” has come the reply. The list has grown in size while I wonder how my life has changed (positively) due to those advancements. Note that I am thinking from an average Indian and not as an IT guy or a rich guy (not that I am) or a gadget freak (not that I am).
Cash transfer: ATMs and swipe cards can be rated as the biggest change in our lives. This generation students who simply take their dad’s ATM card or add-on cards while moving into hostels (or boarding schools) do not know the troubles students or children staying away faced in 20th century. You have to wait for your Money Order (by post) to receive your money (the PostMan was always in demand) only to see it vanish in seconds after payments to fees, laundry-man, canteen and other friends only to have a faint smile at one or two currency notes (if left) remaining in your hand. Once I had made 800KM to-fro 24-hour journey to my brother’s University to hand him money he needed to go for a college tour (as Western Union too could not promise to deliver in 10 hours).
Online application filling: When I had to apply for my engineering entrances or later IITs for M.Tech, I had to visit multiple banks on different dates (sometimes traveling to Vijayawada or Hyderabad) with various denominations of DDs (Demand Drafts) to buy the applications; then visit the post-offices, do speed post or registered post as required, pray Gods and wait for the acknowledgement letter to confirm that my application was received; then again wait anxiously for the hall-ticket/interview letter. Now, you simply apply online, sometimes do payments online, download the hall-ticket and appear for the exam. Similarly, businessmen had to carry around big suitcases of cash and check-books to do the transactions. Now, you can roam with a laptop and a swipe card.
Road rollers and laying roads: Laying roads was a multi-day (sometimes multi-week) exercise then. Dig the road, lay stones as the base layer, roll with the big road-rollers, lay sand-stones, roll again, lay mud, roll again, burn tar (in drums), pour tar, roll again and wait for the tar to dry and harden. Now, the modern machines take the tar-mixture and lays the road in less than an hour and you can drive almost immediately on the road. Building CC (cement concrete) roads is also an easier task these days.
Plumbing: My dad bought a house and got it renovated. So, I know in detail each and every step in house-building and the effort needed. Most of those steps have been made easier and quicker due to technical advancements. Then, pipes were made of iron or PVC and the plumbers used to carry big toolkit to create threads to the pipe-ends and use big to join them. Now, the new vinyl pipes can be easily joined with an adhesive paste. Even my dad does it easily now.
Carpentry:Wood-work these days, either making doors or tables or show-cases has been automated a lot. Electric saws and blades are used to cut logs into blocks, designs are made with machinery, screws and nails are fitted with machines and polishing is applied with machines.
Flooring: Tiles were manually cut, sized and polished. Now, you can cut them using a machine.
RCC Slabs: Laying a slab for the roof would need you to use big hammers to cut iron-rods, hire an ox-pulled or tractor-driven concrete machine, fixing wooden molds with bamboo-sticks as support with hundreds of nails, water it and wait for weeks before raising the next floor. Now, you have machine-cutters for iron, ready-mix supplied by truck, fill in the metal sheets supported by pipes and you can start the next floor within days.
Threshers and Excavators:
Tractors replacing ploughs and other tractor add-ons had become a not-rare scenes. I have been to rural areas regularly, and I am surprised with the use of technology in recent years. Threshers are used to thrash grain and excavators (or JCB/proclainer as popular) are used to dug/plough the fields. A lot of middle-sized farmers too prefer this owing to non-availability of laborers because of migration and high-cost.
Milking machines:
Dairy industry too had gone a change with the use of milking machines and grass-cutters getting increased as well as the use of artificial serum. I went to AP Dairy exhibition held by the state goverment recently at Hyderabad and was overwhelmed by the huge response from the farmer community.
SMS tickets: One can travel in bus or train by just showing an SMS on their phone. I never imagined this 5 years ago, leave 15 years ago. It is not only trains, both RTC (public) and private buses in AP allow you to travel by an SMS. IN RTC, it is not even mandatory to show your ID, unless another passenger claims for the same seat. Even the ticket-cases are being replaced by TIMs (Ticket Issuing Machines). Gone were our days when we preserved all our bus-tickets, used rubber-bands to tie them, used punch-holes to play ‘buss-aata’ (driver-conducter-bus) game.
Many of these things have been taken for granted now-a-days.
Please add if you see any such innovations that have transformed our lives in the recent years - only from ‘90s onwards. The specified innovations should be available to a larger community. No references to electronic/computer appliances like MP3 players, DVDs, washing machines, please.

'Journey' - My Tryst with Accidents

I have recently watched a Telugu movie named, Journey (dubbed from Tamil: Engeyum Eppodum). The movie is about love stories of two couples and the impact of a major bus-bus accident on their lives. Excellence (subjective and of course as per Indian/Tamil standards) in various departments like story, screenplay, photography, music and direction has made the movie worth watching and the accident scenes needing a special mention. But, this post is not about the movie, but about what it wants to convey – road accidents.

The accident scene in the movie is shot in such a realistic and horrifying manner that it has started playing on my mind, which has never been the case.

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While I was in teens, whenever I read/watch an accident news, specially a major one – I used to think why not me; why I was not in that bus/train; I too travel often (every vacation – Dasara/Pongal/Summer); I used to dream that I was travelling in such a bus/train, but miraculously escape from the accident. But, sadly it never happened after I grew up. *Please, don’t assume me as a sadist/psycho/wicked.

While I was 7, a lorry (truck) hit our scooter on which Dad, Anna (brother), Mom and I were riding at Benz Circle, Vijayawada - everyone was jumped off the scooter – I rolled on the road for quite a distance and stopped dangerously close to the rear tyres of the truck. Though I escaped with minor injuries (scar disappeared in a few years), I don’t have a vivid memory of the complete scene.

Then, when I was around 11, I sat alone beside a right-side window at the back of the bus leaving mom and Anna sitting at the front. On a busy road, when the bus was stationary, the rear end of a truck coming from opposite side touched the bus and its rear-door chains stuck into the window exactly where I was sitting. Everyone including mom were scared, but I was watching it as a fun. I was sad too as it was not that thrilling with not even window getting smashed.

The itch (to come alive out of an accident) grew exponentially during my engineering, when I had to travel to a college on NH5 40kms away. I used to see damaged or over-turned vehicles on the road side almost every day. Why not one of them happens while I watch? Why not that happens to the bus I was going? During those journeys, I had seen some major accident scenes. Some happened few moments before we passed and some could have happened to our bus, but the chance went to the preceding. One of such accidents had one side of a private bus completely ripped off and some 30 bodies were moved into autos.

But, the wait was over one day. During third year, I and four other classmates got into an Express bus at college leaving another close friend MK who had a student pass. After 10 minutes, the driver tried an ambitious overtake around an overloaded (chili bags) tractor – the tractor fell half-way into a side-by ditch and a truck from opposite hit the bus on the right. Nobody was injured.  We were put into another bus. This time, I was standing beside the driver.  Twenty minutes into the journey, while trying to overtake an 18-wheeler truck-trailer the left-front side of the bus hit the trailer. That was a wow moment for me, to watch a live accident and had two incidents in a single journey; though, not fully satisfied as it was a minor hit. Again, none was injured. 

I was looking for more. A few months later, I and a friend LM (can compete with Kumbhakarna for his sleep in buses) got into a bus on return journey leaving MK on that instance too – I took the last seat and he was one row ahead. LM started sleeping; I tried to sleep on the last row lying horizontally, but could not. So, I got up and started gazing through the left window; Suddenly a BANG! And another BANG! A truck in the front applied sudden brake; our bus driver tried his best, but couldn’t avoid hitting; the front windows got smashed. At the same time, another truck hit our bus from rear; it was an old truck that had engine coming out (like cars). The engine protruded into the bus damaging the right side of the last row. And, there I was, on the left side on the same last row seeing this collision.

No, I was not shocked. I was not injured. Many in the bus got injured, mainly with foreheads hitting the front seats due to sudden brake. I woke up LM (yeah, still sleeping) and he asked rubbing his eyes, “What! Guntur came up so quickly?” I need not tell how much I pulled his leg in the college later. I can write a full post on his sleeping in the buses. Yeah! We had never left MK behind while taking bus.

Then, we were put into a different bus and there it was – my moment – my dream – everyone in that bus asking for the details and me telling the story – a live accident that I had live through.

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Now, for the last 7 years (excepting the US stints), I have been travelling regularly (once or twice a month) from Hyderabad to my home-town Guntur – most often by bus (private/APSRTC) - start on Friday night and return on Monday morning . The journey includes NH9, one of the most accident-prone highways in the country, taking away hundreds of lives every year.

On every such journey, I see at least one accident and many ‘just-miss’ incidents. Two minor accidents happened to the bus I was in. Many times, I would be sitting in the left side window of the last rows, running parallel to a truck driver, only for the truck driver to put brake at the last moment to allow our bus to slide in. Still, I never had a ‘heart in the mouth’ kind of feeling because I have seen many before during college. However, since the day I watched this Journey movie, I have become philosophical about life as well as little worried about journeys. Wish, I come back to myself quickly as now I dream of driving car to Guntur one day in near future.

Hope at least 1% of these horrendous drivers that watch this movie think twice when they come on the road.

Vegetarianism - Vegetables - Nutrition

**** Read after your lunch/dinner *****
BeetRoot Poriyal and Pakoda Koorma - read the South Indian menu in my office canteen. I bet half of those interested in taking SI meals would have backed off on seeing beetroot. I was equally depressed by seeing Pakoda Koorma, though was delighted to see Beetroot and Dosakai Dal (Cucumber) after weeks of Bhindi (Bendakaya/Okra/Ladies Finger) complimenting permutation and combination of Aloo (Potato), Patta Gobi (Cabbage), Gobi (Cauliflower) and Carrot (Gaazar) with a change in name - Mix Veg Curry, Veg Kurma, Veg Kadai, Veg Jalfrezi, Cabbage-Carrot poriyal.
For reasons like not having hygienic Andhra mess in the vicinity, well wishers’ concerns about the expansion of my pot-belly and the heaviness of the Andhra food at nights means that I generally visit a North Indian food joint for dinner. And the menu usually has a curry made up of one or more of Aloo (Potato), Mutter (Green peas), Rajma (Red Kidney Beans), Paneer (Cottage Cheese), Tomato and Gobi (Cauliflower) and occasionally with Palak (Spinach), Lauki (Sorakaya/Aanapakaya/Bottlegourd) or Methi (menti/Fenugreek) .


When I went to native for a week long Diwali vacation, I told my Mom to not include Okra (Bhindi), Potato, Cauliflower, Cabbage, Carrot and Tomato in any menu. And, what I had the following for a week – The menu commonly included one curry and dal supplemented with a freshly grounded chutney (noorudu pacchadi) with a vegetable or a leaf (Gongura, Pudina/Mint, Kottimeera/Corrainder), one or two pickles (preserved chutney/ooragaya) like Avakaya (Mango), Chintakaya(Imli/Tamarind), Usirikaya(Amla/Gooseberry) Nimmakaya (Nimboo/Lime) and a grounded powder like Gunpowder, Kandi podi (Toordal powder) or Palli podi (Groudnut/peanut powder).

Curry was from one of the vegetables of Dondakaya (Tindora/ Ivy Gourd), Vankaya (Baingan/Brinjal/Eggplant), Kakara Kaya (Karela/Bittergourd), Sorakaya (Lauki/Bottlegourd), Chikkudukaya (Large Beans with seed), Goruchikkudu (Beernis/Long thin beans used in Fried rice), Beerakaya (Turai/Ridgegourd)


Dal was either Toor Dal (Red lentils) or Moong Dal (Yellow gram) cooked with a vegetable from Tomato, Dosakaya (Cucumber), Mango, Sorakaya or a leafy vegetable from Palak (Spinach), Chukkakura (Sorrel spinach), Thotakura (Amaranthus), Bacchalikura (Malabar Spinach), Menthikura (Methi/Fenugreek).

I haven’t even got a chance to relish my favorite and Mom's special Chemadumpa (Arvi/Taro root) Vepudu (Fry). I haven’t yet talked about other root vegetables like Beetroot, Kanda (Yam), Potlakaya (Snake gourd), Aratikaya (Plantain), Gummadikaya (Pumpkin), Panasa pottu koora (Jackfruit).


There was no need/time for regular Sambar, Pulusu (similar to sambar), Majjiga Pulusu (sambar type of preparation with sour buttermilk), Menthi Majjiga (rasam type preparation with Methi), Rasam/Charu and Pachi Pulusu (Dry Soup).

Ok, enough of foodies, what I wanted to tell is vegetarianism is not always about Dal, Aloo, Gobi, Paneer and some pulses like Rajma, Chole and Chana. It is primarily about all vegetables, though not a daily dose of salads with raw vegetables and cheese as Americans think. Also, eating raw vegetables in India is not advisable sometimes due to high pesticide use.

Many people (irrespective of generation) like to eat only a few varieties of vegetables and face problems while eating anywhere outside their home. I pity them. The world is full of vegetables and I like to eat all of them, though I enjoy some of them at one or two levels up. Though recently, starting to hate Bhindi and Cabbage courtesy the FC caterers. Curries are not that boring if the vegetables are rotated and the preparation is tweaked.

My Mom (sometimes I too) can prepare a curry out of a vegetable in at least 3 different methods. Add to that you get excellent combinations when you mix two three vegetables (No, not talking about cabbage-carrot poriyal or Mix Veg Curry served in canteen).

Whatever I get at home is a proper Vegetarian Meal that provides nutrition as below:
Rice/Roti – Carbohydrates
Dal – Protein
Vegetables – Vitamins, antioxidants, Iron and other minerals
Curd/yogurt and Majjiga/Buttermilk/Chaaz – To cool down the stomach and improve digestion.

A Pakoda Koorma, a Malai methi chamn, some Kofta or Kadai (Besan/Bengal Gram Fluor + Buttermilk) and even Rajma/Chola/Chana would not give me same nutrition.

Note: It is not only about Andhra or South Indian. Most of the Indian menus have given due importance to all vegetables, though I would say the Andhra menu includes a higher number of vegetables.
P.S.: I am a vegetarian (lacto-vegetarian to be specific) with not eating egg (exception to birthday cakes).
P.S.2.: A caterer produced a new dish called 'Chola-Soya Ka Dostana' today!

The Characteristic Indian Head Shaking

"Oh boy! What does that mean? A Yes or a No!? For God's sake just speak it out!' the client asked me when I nodded my head as a response to his query. I understood his fury as that was not the first time I had done that in front of him.

I have seen this characteristic in Telugus (Andhrites), especially from my native district, not to generalize though. We simply nod our head in response to a lot of questions. And that would neither be a perfect vertical swing in agreement nor a horizontal in denial – but a unique way of shaking that only natives could understand (correctly) and would make outsiders pull their hair to guess. So, for an American who expects mainly a word of ‘Yeah/No’, there is no surprise that my nods irritate him.

While the silent nods are a distinctive feature for my natives, the head-shakes among many Indians are such vigorous that I sometimes visualize cows watching them. Almost every Indian – we move our heads a lot while talking and even while listening too. While moving hands in the right way when talking is considered as a good non-verbal gesture, I do not remember something similar being said about heads. In fact, it is suggested to keep head still and make proper eye-eye contact while speaking or listening.

Whether during my stay in US or in Hollywood movies, I have rarely seen an American moving his/her head as much as Indians do while talking. While listening too, they just nod their head vertically once/twice as acknowledgement – nothing more than that.

Some of you may think I have generalized it too far, but these have been my observations over the last 4 years :->>

Though I annoy people with my silent nods (shakes), I think I hardly move my head while listening. This used to annoy my lecturers in college, who felt I was not acknowledging and not paying attention in the class room, in fact, with my blank stares were defying them!

Friendly talk

I have been taking lunch alone these days and feeling alone in the canteen. The other day, while I was taking lunch alone, I was thinking – “ There were many people like me – just come, take food and leave. Why don’t they try to talk to the one sitting opposite or at least just say a friend ‘Hi!’”. Suddenly, a person came and queried whether the seat opposite was available. I nodded affirmative. Then he said a “hi” and introduced himself. We had a good conversation, though I was irritated one or two times for things too personal to be asked and to be disclosed to a stranger.

I have seen this trend commonly in IT people. If you see a train, bus, railway station or any common place, Indians have a common tendency to start a conversation with a complete stranger and make a friendly chat, make the boring waiting or traveling time tick on quickly. But, IT junta cannot come out so quickly.

I think there is nothing wrong in starting a friendly chat or at least give a smile to the person sitting opposite in food court, gym or any other place in the campus, of course, first checking the mood of the other person :)

Faceless Citizens

The people who pay the price for changes in the economy are those in the informal sector like street vendors, yet their stories never make it to the front pages.

Whenever I happen to go to a mall to accompany someone, I end up buying something. But, while buying a lot of thoughts come into my mind - I do not like this mall culture.

I came across a thoughtful article published in THE HINDU, Sunday Magazine on November 16, 2008.

Some excerpts:

Our friendly neighbourhood vegetable vendor has disappeared. Without a trace. No one is able to tell me what happened to him. I ask the man who sells bananas. He also comes every day by taxi with a basket load of bananas. In a few hours, his basket is empty. But he doesn’t know what happened to the vegetable vendor.

Another reason could be economic. A new retail store has opened in the area selling fresh vegetables at marginally lower prices than what the vegetable vendor charged. So, even though his vegetables were decidedly fresher than those sold in the store, and people had an old relationship with him, the majority graduated to the novelty of going to the store and buying vegetables wrapped in plastic.

I narrate this story, which will have echoes in most other cities across India, because it tells us of the largest number of people who are losing jobs and livelihood. The media runs front page stories when airlines staff are laid off. We hear about redundancies in the private sector.

Yet, these people remain invisible. Economic problems always mean stock exchange news, or news of some big factories closing down or stopping production for a few days. But what will happen to people who did not have security in their employment, could never dream of a salaried job, but survived nonetheless on their wits and by providing a much needed service? Who is counting these losses? Is anyone even bothered?

Sleeping Rough

I read ‘Coolie’, authored by one of the early Indian English writer who made it big, Sri Mulk Raj Anand. It is the journey of an orphan boy, staged in the British Raj, who comes from a remote hill village to work as a servant, works at various places before moving to Mumbai to join in a cotton mill and finally dies of some disease.

Though it is a master-piece, I felt that it is a bit exaggerated and dramatized for the English (read the British) audience.

I just remember that I have not started this writing for a literary review, neither I am equipped to review book of such standard. I read an article today, which immediately reminded this book.

Though I did not like the book completely, I was completely moved by the life of Munno (the boy) in Bombay (now Mumbai) – sleeping on pavements, then in a medical shop, sharing a hut with another big family and so on. While it was just fiction, the article I read on THE HINDU (English newspaper) Sunday magazine, it shook me for quite some time.

The harsh reality is that there are some things that have not changed since British Raj, after 61 years of independence, though I should admit that the Governments and NGOs are trying to do their part (read article). Yes, India is shining, if we read that the to-be world’s expensive home is being built in the same Mumbai.

A point to note is that most of the people surveyed do not appear to be beggars, but laborers who cannot afford the rent of a hut.

Some excerpts from THE HINDU article –
(Full article: http://www.hindu.com/mag/2008/11/02/stories/2008110250050300.htm)

The dominant feature of homelessness is “sleeping rough”, being forced to sleep without the protection of walls and a roof, battling the excesses of the seasons, insecurity and loneliness. Homeless respondents in all cities agreed that the most trying and disagreeable season for homeless people were the monsoons, closely followed by the winters.

In Delhi, for over a hundred thousand homeless people, the Delhi government runs over 14 night shelters, with a maximum capacity of 2,937 people. In other words, night shelters provide a roof for not more than three per cent of all homeless people in the city. There are none for women, or migrant families. The other cities lack even these, although NGOs extend night shelters to a small number of homeless people mainly in Patna. Of the government shelters, the largest in the nation’s capital is the one near the Old Delhi Railway Station. It was the first night shelter opened by the government in 1964, and in winter and the rains, its four large halls are crowded well beyond its official capacity of 514 persons. The facilities are elementary. For a fee of Rs. 6 a night, bare mats are spread out on the floors in each of the shelters on which men sleep, body pressed against body. Ragged blankets are provided for the winter, and there are common toilets and bathing places, erratically cleaned but always in demand. Outside in the walled city, private contractors called thijawalahs rent out quilts and plastic sheets for Rs. 5 a night to homeless sleepers. Iron cots are lined up in the corridors outside shops, for a rent of Rs. 15 per night.

The respondents to our survey said what disturbed their sleep most were the police (17 per cent), mosquitoes (16 per cent), the noise (12 per cent), the weather and health problems (9 per cent each). In Delhi, police brutality figured highest at 32 per cent for disturbing homeless people at night.

Your Attention Please!

Your Attention Please!

No, there is no special announcement from my side. Neither am I trying to get some attention as this is my post after 10 weeks. No, I may be trying to seek some attention. I may be one of those attention seekers.

This point has been in my mind for some months now, but could not blog due to various reasons – to give the most routine answer – lack of time. But, the real reason was that I could not find the right term for this pattern or characteristic of the group called bloggers. Now I found it: Attention Seekers.

I feel that most of the bloggers blog because they seek some attention, especially from similar minded people. They want to showcase their talent in one or more fields – literature, poetry, photography, movie-making, mathematics, something else. Though most of our class, the bloggers, do not accept, I think this is true with a majority - of course, it would be not the only one, but one of the reasons, with a lower priority (like of me). Though we dump whatever we like, we cannot resist refreshing the page to see new comments (yes, we want people to read what we write unless we create the blog with sole purpose of cribbing, grumbling and whining).
We want people to read the blogs. We keep external blog link in the corporate blog, wordpress link on blogger page, photo blog link on tech blog – I even have it appended to my email signature.

I got this "Attention Seekers" term from an article published in Monday, 13th October 2008 Bangalore edition of Metro Plus, THE HINDU.

An excerpt from the article –
Computer Science teacher Sneha Raul begs to differ. "It is understandable to upload if it is a part of your job or if you have nothing else to do. People could claim to be service-minded, but that is only the tip of the iceberg. I personally feel people who do it are addicted to uploading information or aim at getting attention."Now that the blogging mania has taken off big time, regular bloggers, especially those whose blogs are only about their personal lives, from love-sick poems to what they want engraved on their epitaph, are also looked at as attention seekers.

But, I disagree with most of the opinions in that article. People on You Tube and such entertainment forums may be attentions seekers, I believe there are bloggers who use this powerful blogging medium effectively – especially the citizen journalists, the techies, the financial bloggers, people giving solutions to common technical problems in day-to-day life.

Of course, I have my own reasons, bigger than this, but including ‘attention seeking’ for blogging.

In those days...

“In those days…”
“In my days…”
“Those days are golden. They would never come…”
Are you one of those who often use any of these expressions? Or are you one of those feeling cursed to be there whenever you are on the receiving end of such sentences?
I am from the first group. I am nostalgic. I accept that I live in past memories and I love to do it. Every now and then, I think how I was at a certain period of my life and how I enjoyed during some incidents.

I have this tendency from my childhood. I was constantly remembering my school days during +2, +2 days during engineering, engineering days when I started working; training period is on the extreme end – I have never stopped recollecting them.

Although I enjoy this, sometimes I have felt whether I have been doing this a bit more. I might be living in the past to such extreme that I neglect the present and the future. Once, I felt the wrath of one of my friends for sending a mail with some nostalgic photos and a funny old chain mail.

But I am a bit happy after going through various sites like YouTube, Orkut communities and blogs; that I am not alone and there are many people who like to do so and who miss those days. They feel happy if there is someone else who think the same and share similar feelings and experiences.

It is good to reminisce those days… once in a while; it helps us to refresh ourselves and helps us to get back to the journey revitalized.

Saying this, precaution should be taken that we think about others while being nostalgic; it should not be a routine activity boring the people around us.

It does no harm as long as we do not live in the past forgetting we have a long journey ahead.

True Friendship 2

Continuing my thoughts on friendship –

1. Does physical separation weaken friendship?

I met 5 guys on my first day in the job, sorry a couple of them the prior day in Hotel where we were given 7 days of accommodation. Yes, they were my trainee batch mates. Later, four of us became roommates and the other guy also stayed near. There, we were 6 strangers – got close so much that 2 months of training has passed by without realizing.

We were posted to different cities, but we have continued the relation – chain mails and group chats. Then, one of us left the company to US, and others have/had been to onsite – we, all remaining five, were never physically at one place at an instant of time except for a planned get together we planned and successfully made on the eve of completing 2 years. That tour inspired 4 of us to enter the corporate Blogs as early as in May/June 2006.

Now, almost 4 years after moving to different locations – we still keep exchanging a group mail at least once in a month against timezones. Currently, we are across the world – US East coast, US West coast, UK, Hyderabad, Chennai and Bhubaneswar.

So, are we still friends? Yes, in my opinion. Is physical presence required to continue friendship ? No.
But, will this relationship not count as friendship, just because we no longer discuss personal or professional challenges in depth?

2. Are common interests required?
When I came to Hyderabad for my posting after training, I had no other option but to share room with the person who would be my first project mate. Interestingly, we were in the same training batch, but we were completely opposite in everything –
- He was known to almost everyone in the batch due to his active participation in the class and events. I was known barely t o anyone except in 2-3 cubicles around me and the Telugu batchmates.
- He is North Indian and I am South Indian.
- We have conflicting habits and opinions when it comes to anything – movies, people, drinking, smoking, music,… the list goes on.

Only reason, we met was because we were the 2 junior SEs joining a 4-member project, our first one. Thus, started our relationship – professionally, then to living under the same roof;
But slowly we got to understand each other, it took him 3 projects and almost a year (yeah, I am a tough guy for people to understand and get a positive opinion) – our friendship flourished for 2 years before he left for onsite.
This makes me think that friends need not have everything or something in common. We have nothing in common except for a few moments when we cribbed against bosses and projects:-D
So, are we still friends? Yes. We still communicate with each other, discussing our careers and professional challenges.

3.Blogger friends

Where do my favorite bloggers fall in all this thought process? I have met so many distinct personalities, liked the views and attitudes of many people here – with some of their thoughts and opinions influencing my thought process. So, can I consider them as my friends – may be or may not be? May be yes, because we have some thought s in common or I like some features of them. May be no, because except for their blogs, I do not know much about them; I chatted perhaps with 3 or 4 bloggers, attended just one blogger’s meet and I read on some blogs that most of the bloggers have two alters - one on blogs and the other in real. This is true, to some extent, for me (not for my thoughts and views on the blog).

The thoughts are still going on.

True Friendship

I have had an interesting conversation recently with two of my friends-cum-engineering classmates recently. Since coming to the US, I have been spending on average of 1-2 hours per week on phone with one of them, with whom I could be only in contact through email generally once in a month or two.
We were discussing on the same thing in that call and questions came up on the friendship; and as usual I have started thinking a lot on this.

What is a true friendship? If I do not spend at least an hour with a person, share feelings, thoughts and occasions – would that make the person no longer a friend of mine?

As the journey of life goes, we meet many people. We simply forget some, while some become just acquaintances whereas a few become our close friends; And only those who have something in common with us would come closer to us and we respond with the same intensity. But, as the journey continues, the paths may split due to interests, goals and other reasons – our priorities might change; our life styles might alter; our way of thinking would definitely change; so, those two persons now living different kinds of life, could they still hold the bond of friendship with same intensity? If they can’t share things as they used to, would that make just acquaintances and not friends?

What has made me ponder over these thoughts is not solely due to the conversation with my engineering friend; I have started thinking on this long time back –
I have a childhood friend – our relationship started in school when we were 10; we went on to study together till +2 – our friendship extended then to our elder brothers and then to two families to such an extent that people think our moms are friends because of which we have become close. Now, once I joined engineering and he joined science graduation – although we met every day, I had started spending more time with my engineering friends, giving more priority to them during academic year. Initially, this turned into a gap between us and some conflicts appeared, but we have sorted them out.

The gap was due to the fact that I couldn’t share all my things in the engineering college with him and that engineering requires more time and effort compared to a normal B.Sc.

When I joined IT industry and moved from my native city, the gap started appearing again – even though I talk with him on phone quite regularly, my priorities have changed. Our friendship still continues – however, I don’t communicate with him so often as I do with some friends of relatively less priority and even some distant acquaintances; This is because, he rarely comes online.
Some of things I can’t share with him because he wouldn’t be able to understand the context.

So, I started thinking has our friendship got diluted? Are we just pretending to be
friends – as we no longer share thoughts and feelings?

I want to say the answer is “No” and I believe that is the answer. But, that doesn’t stop me thinking on what true friendship is; will it require being physically in the same geographical area – seeing each other often;

Still thinking…

Moral/Ethical values - Start thinking

CAUTION: Long read!

A majority of us in the company are youth. We boast to driven by values.

- When some unfortunate incident like bomb blast, fly-over collapse happens, we give our quality views on the corporate bulletin boards (A web portal where employees share their views).
- We speak about the declining moral values of politicians. We comment on raising corruption.
- We declare that the “System is like that. It is irreparable.”.
- We admire supposed- to-be patriotic and youth-inspiring movies like Yuva, Rang De Basanti, Lage Raho Munnabhai, etc. and tell that these things can happen only in Filmy world and we can’t do anything.
- When we don’t get an engineering seat or a local job, we push it on cheap-reservation politics or on a recommendation from local MLA.
- When we don’t get a filmy ticket (not multiplexes) for first day, we blame the big group in the theater laughing at us who have obviously got them in advance for being classmates of theater owner’s son.
- When we don’t get accommodation in Tirumala – we curse the people who have got it due to recommendation from an MP thanks to a distant (non-existing sometimes) relationship with his P.A.’s brother-in-law.
- When we have to stand in a long queue or in those jail cells for hours in Tirumala – we curse the people who got through VIP darshan and Special cellar darshan.
- When our bus gets jammed in traffic - we complain to our co-passengers on how negligent and rash today drivers are and why don’t they follow traffic rules being educated and civilized.
- When we drive the bike/car and nearly bumped into a group of pedestrians, we curse them for walking right in the middle of the road.
- When we are pedestrians and faced the same, we find fault in the road-rashers and not the authorities for not providing footpaths.

But, what do and why do I do?

- I don’t boast of as THE PERFECT following all legal rules, respecting all moral values with high ethical principles.
- I did, am doing and will do some of the above actions.
Am I ethical? The answer is No. Then why should I ask everyone to follow the law and the moral values.

Because –
- I try to follow them as much as I can (This ‘much’ is relative and may differ from person to person. And again, when I don’t, people call me opportunist).
- We live in a society. If we don’t have laws, rules and principles governing us – then the resultant will be utter chaos. Many Hollywood movies came on this theme.
- Even animal kingdoms have laws.
- If everyone thinks I cannot change the society alone and my wrong-doings will not affect the society – then it’s like "A cat closes her eyes and drinks milk thinking noone is watching her!" and the Milk story in Akbar-Birbal / Tenali Ramakrishna (Ramlinga for non-Telugus) and other folk stories.

Start thinking.

How many times you might have avoided causing inconvenience to others due to your urge to finish your things quickly or could have got the job finished in the straight path but had chosen the shortest but not the legally/morally/ethically correct pat again due to your urge to finish your things quickly.

You are answerable only to your conscience.

Now, why I write this?

A person put a Train ticket sale on a corporate Bulletin Board and these are some of the responses/view from today’s youth and a few of them are interesting and most I can’t digest.

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Ultimately one has to answer to their inner voice. But also be prepared for adverse consequences. And when your luck runs out, don’t play the victim because you are not one.

Sanjay Dutt kept a gun and Salman Khan killed a deer. They never thought at that time it would come back to haunt them the way it has. Next time you break a law, think about the risk and if you think it’s worth it, it’s up to you.

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I personally don’t see any issue in selling the ticket to anyone whom I know or a fellow mate. All those who talk about the moral and legal aspects neebds to understand the practical aspects as well.

Just ponder…

Have u not bribed the police when he came for ur house verification to issue a passport
Never ever given any cash to the Traffic police even though with most of the correct documents.
There are many instances like this…where you are forced to be practical follow this unwritten rules.
And I want to state my opinion that giving a ticket to colleague is OK but using Bulletin board for this purpose is bad because it is against the company policy.

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Unfortunately, if you follow rules in most of the cases, you are like a stupid.
Go by the general practice. Don’t worry about the rules and sections. Very few officials know abt the rules and sections.
Tell me how often a TTC has verified your ID card while traveling on a train? I am not advocating anything against the law!. But If you are supposed to travel and bought a ticket, and you are not able to travel but your brother can travel instead of you. I don’t think you cancel your ticket and buy a waitlist ticket for your brother, do you?

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Its not selling …. If somebody wants to help a colleague whats wrong in that ?
Its Festival time ..very difficult to get tickets ..and if someone has a spare ticket he/she can always offer it to the needy . And yes , one cannot donate a ticket ..so he/she has to take the money from the needy person .
No ones explicitly selling tickets here ….. its just a help .

p.s.: I have to use “We” since most of the readers (not only Indians) can relate to this and if you don’t relate, just don’t think you are part of this “We”.