Thursday, June 12, 2008

True Friendship 2

Continuing my thoughts on friendship –

1. Does physical separation weaken friendship?

I met 5 guys on my first day in the job, sorry a couple of them the prior day in Hotel where we were given 7 days of accommodation. Yes, they were my trainee batch mates. Later, four of us became roommates and the other guy also stayed near. There, we were 6 strangers – got close so much that 2 months of training has passed by without realizing.

We were posted to different cities, but we have continued the relation – chain mails and group chats. Then, one of us left the company to US, and others have/had been to onsite – we, all remaining five, were never physically at one place at an instant of time except for a planned get together we planned and successfully made on the eve of completing 2 years. That tour inspired 4 of us to enter the corporate Blogs as early as in May/June 2006.

Now, almost 4 years after moving to different locations – we still keep exchanging a group mail at least once in a month against timezones. Currently, we are across the world – US East coast, US West coast, UK, Hyderabad, Chennai and Bhubaneswar.

So, are we still friends? Yes, in my opinion. Is physical presence required to continue friendship ? No.
But, will this relationship not count as friendship, just because we no longer discuss personal or professional challenges in depth?

2. Are common interests required?
When I came to Hyderabad for my posting after training, I had no other option but to share room with the person who would be my first project mate. Interestingly, we were in the same training batch, but we were completely opposite in everything –
- He was known to almost everyone in the batch due to his active participation in the class and events. I was known barely t o anyone except in 2-3 cubicles around me and the Telugu batchmates.
- He is North Indian and I am South Indian.
- We have conflicting habits and opinions when it comes to anything – movies, people, drinking, smoking, music,… the list goes on.

Only reason, we met was because we were the 2 junior SEs joining a 4-member project, our first one. Thus, started our relationship – professionally, then to living under the same roof;
But slowly we got to understand each other, it took him 3 projects and almost a year (yeah, I am a tough guy for people to understand and get a positive opinion) – our friendship flourished for 2 years before he left for onsite.
This makes me think that friends need not have everything or something in common. We have nothing in common except for a few moments when we cribbed against bosses and projects:-D
So, are we still friends? Yes. We still communicate with each other, discussing our careers and professional challenges.

3.Blogger friends

Where do my favorite bloggers fall in all this thought process? I have met so many distinct personalities, liked the views and attitudes of many people here – with some of their thoughts and opinions influencing my thought process. So, can I consider them as my friends – may be or may not be? May be yes, because we have some thought s in common or I like some features of them. May be no, because except for their blogs, I do not know much about them; I chatted perhaps with 3 or 4 bloggers, attended just one blogger’s meet and I read on some blogs that most of the bloggers have two alters - one on blogs and the other in real. This is true, to some extent, for me (not for my thoughts and views on the blog).

The thoughts are still going on.


  1. Well Jyothi, that's pretty good points made by you. First things first-

    What is friendship? Guess we could get hundreds of answers, but none in full. You never know why two beings become friends. What makes two souls (please read as any two things) become friends – not because of their habits, their thoughts or any things else. You find a harmony between the two – a harmony that exists in spite of all the differences they have. However, every harmony is affected by the external forces. And that’s where the sustainability comes in. The more the harmony sustains the greater it becomes. This is very true. But, a friendship with out a fight is like a world without problem.

  2. I always lose friends. And end analysis makes me feel I am responsible for it. So, I stopped all definitions and started bending. every time a friend wants me to. :(

    I know some of your blogger friends. And keep losing them and regaining them too. just for info.

    btw, what is it abt sagarasangamam that u like?

  3. Thanks Leela.

    Terms like friendship and love have varied definitions depending on how we interpret it.

    My search is to find the strength and longevity of friendship, rather the relationship.

  4. Hi sleep-walker, I believe one can compromise for his/her friends.

    Blog friends: I don't recall whether I know you before - couldnt get a clue from your profile :(

    Sagarasangamam - I like the music of Ilayaraja, choreography, direction of K.Viswanath, Jandhyala's dialogues (very few note it) and finally Kamal's performance. I never get bored watching the movie. There are some 20 such movies that I can watch N number of times; but this tops the list due to the effect of songs on me at an early age.

  5. Hi JB,

    I was too lazy too do anything abt my profile. besides, there is so little to write abt me.

    strangely, i like sagarasangamam for it's love story more than anything else. The sheer way in which the unrequited love is sustained thru years is moving.

    and, no, u don't know me from before. I am a hydbadi. live in hyd.

  6. I think their relationship is more than love; I think Jayaprada's role never loved Kamal's role; it adored the dance in him.

  7. yes. but for him, it was pure love. That is why unrequited.